Dealing with Junk Mail – A fun method

Ever felt like nailing shut the letterbox? Does it seem like a never ending line of crap is being pushed on to your carpet? As if suddenly your going to take complete leave of your senses and spend the little money you don’t have on products and services you don’t need?

Do you wish there was a way to stop this?

Well unlucky! Bar siting outside your door guarding your letterbox, suitably armed with an obvious deterrent 24 hours a day, then there is always going to be some numpty that will be brainlessly filling letterboxes with the pointless crap some prick has decided to peddle. And even the postman is in on it as well. It’s enough to boil your blood.

But wait!

They say time is money. So why not cost these faceless, soulless, odious individuals a bit of both?


You will need:

Some DL envelopes (Other sizes are available)

DL envelope



A pen

A Pen



An internet – (occasionally)

An Internet



And some time…



It’s a simple method.

Brainless drone pushes the leaflet through your door. If your lucky, then the hopeful business will have put their postal address on the leaflet. Simply copy the address on to a DL sized envelope. Pop the leaflet inside. And now the important bit…

DO NOT PUT A STAMP ON THE ENVELOPE. And then put it back in the post.


You can now smile at the fact that in a couple of days time, the business that felt that they could litter your home will be receiving a card from the postman. The card will tell them that they have mail waiting for them at the sorting office, and that it has inadequate payment on it. So all they have to do is come along to the sorting office, pay up and they can have their mail. Simple as that. I like to imagine that curiosity gets the better of these people. And it would be nice to see the various emotions that pass across their faces as they come to realize that they have wasted time and money just to get back their own crap. And if they don’t, well considering that the postman is now delivering unsolicited junk to my home, they can store it at the Post Office.

And the nice thing is that this works on other bits of unwanted detritus that comes through the letter box. You must get the letters addressed “To The Home Owner”, or “To The Car Owner” or even “The Occupier”? Simply cross out the name and write “Not known at this address – Please return to sender”, and then put in back in the post.

What about the other rubbish? Like the same business card from the same taxi service that has paid some prat to push one of their cards through your letterbox without fail once a month for the last few years? That’s where the internet comes in handy. Simply look them up in a search engine of your choosing, get the postal address and you know the rest. Envelope. No stamp. Postbox.

Charity bags. Yep, works for them as well. But I would advise putting the bags beyond use. So shred bag. Put in envelope. Put in postbox.

And if you can’t find an address for the buggers? Well simply send it off to one that you’ve got an address for. I mean come on. It’s not like there is going to be a single day pass by where some unwanted crap will land on your carpet?

Yes this takes time. Yes it’s quicker to put this shit straight in to the bin (or recycling bin). But why comply?


And in the interests of keeping things balanced, you could always try going to this WEB site